whoa.

excitement beyond belief.

i am blessed.

:)

You make all things new..

thank You for renewal.

thank You for college, and everything You've taught me here so far.

thank You for second, third...seventieth chances.

thank You for renewed perspective.

thank You for everything.

college=happening.

i can't believe i haven't written since then...God has taught me a lot. like - A LOT! it's ridiculous :)

love,

emily

and then i get a thought, and it makes me laugh.

don't tell anyone.

but i dreamt about you.

and there was crying and despair,

but we were together, so it was ok.

but in reality, we're not.

and my heart aches for you.

i try to think of other things

but my thoughts always come back to you.

i am watching tv, and there you are.

and there are these friends,

on this show,

that we used to watched

we are them

they are us.

it is so you and me.

with feelings and friendship and things intermixed,

and we don't know what to make of it all

and feelings are hurt,

but then they're fixed.

and i know that you will be my best friend

forever.

but i think you're too much for me.

too much for me to fix.

do you need fixed?

yes.

can i fix you?

maybe.

is it fair to me?

no.

do i care?

no.

why?

i love you.

there.  i said it.

i don't know what kind of love it is,

but i love you, nonetheless.

and i think you should know.

so i will tell you ... eventually.

i think.

yes, i will.

wait, no.

oh geesh, i dont' know yet.

but i'm still watching that show.

and it's still reminding me of you.

but i love it.

and i will watch that show, this show.

for a long time.

i will probably watch it with you.

and we will laugh

and you will be my best friend.

forever.

i'm breathing you in.

i'm feeling your warmth.

i'm giving you this chance

and you should be forewarned

that i love too much

i try too hard

and i'm never the first

to let down my guard...

but i'm worth it.

i'm so worth it, you'll soon learn.

i'm fragile, i'm pushy, i'm girly, i'm obnoxious.

i can't make a decision without second guessing myself.

in fact, you're the first thing i've been sure about in so long.....

i'm sure, i'm certain

it's you.

i am me, and you are you. 

and that's why it's you.

so let me breathe you in.

let me feel your warmth.

pursue me.

i'm worth it, you'll see.

i don't even know what's going on half the time.

but seriously, i'm excited for graduation...

i finished both environmental projects! yay!  so i'm taking a break this week before i crack down on scholarships for next week...

babysitting friday night. 

nick's coming home, but i have my last lifeguarding class sunday afternoon, so i don't know how much time i'll get to spend w/ him...

prom...meh. don't even ask...

love,

emily